Making the most of mediation

You've decided you want to mediate your case (or maybe the court mandated that you attempt mediation before going to trial). Now it's time to discuss how to get the most out of your mediation.

The first step in achieving a successful outcome is for parties to want a resolution. Hopefully your goal for mediation is to reach a resolution. In all my years in the legal field I have yet to meet someone who enjoys battling out a legal case. Mediation is a more peaceful exchange of ideas, desires, and solutions. By wanting to resolve your conflict you are opening the door for a peaceable and timely resolution, as well as lessening your chances of expensive ongoing litigation.

Beyond desire there is more you can bring to the mediation to increase your chances of a positive outcome. The overall better you are prepared for the mediation process, the more likely you will have a successful outcome. Beyond your willingness to mediate your case, your preparation will help us cover all the issues pertaining to your legal case in a timely and cost effective manner, reducing your stress and minimizing how much time and money you spend.

Prepare in advance for your mediation. If you are going to be discussing financial matters, bring all pertinent financial records. If you will be discussing custody and parent time schedules, gather information about your child(ren)'s school schedule, daycare costs and possible providers. For infants, write out the infant's sleeping/feeding schedule. For teens, write down a list of extracurricular commitments for each child, as well as any other scheduling considerations. For more direction on what to bring with you for your mediation, please call us in advance of your appointment at (801) 899-6338. We’d be happy to discuss what you should bring so your mediation can be as successful as possible.

You need to also prioritize the issues pertaining to your legal case. Make a list of the issues you would like to mediate. Consider which issues you feel strongest about and which of the items you are willing to negotiate on. Having some room to negotiate with the other party will make your mediation more successful, such as having an asset you would gladly give your spouse in exchange for an asset you desire. 

You also need to try thinking outside the box. Negotiations in mediation do not have to be a straight one for one. For example, rather than dividing the cost of daycare, one party could take parent time while the other works and vice versa if both parties' schedules allow.

When discussing parent time, particularly try to recall things that worked when you lived with or were in a relationship with the other party. For example, if you worked opposite schedules to care for the children and enjoyed not paying daycare costs, perhaps you can continue that same arrangement. Starting from even a single point of agreement will set your mediation on track to reach resolutions rather than it ending in deadlock.

Separation in a relationship will bring change. Lessen the stress of this change by clearly determining what will happen with all the assets, debts, tax exemptions, custody, parent time and any other issues you need to resolve with the professional help of Utah Family Mediator, Rebecca H. Symes. Call us today to schedule your mediation: (801) 899-6338.