Using Technology to Close the Long Distance Gap

In today’s world, jobs often take us far from our homes and families. When living long distances from your children, either part or all of the year, technology can help you bridge the gap.

While it is always nice to spend physical time with your children, airfare and other travel expenses can add up quickly. For school-age children, taking large blocks of time out of school to travel between parents can be detrimental, leaving school-aged children with only summer and holiday visits to the long-distance parent. Children whose parents reside near each other often benefit from mid-week visits, in addition to weekends with the other parent. Living long distances from your child does not mean you cannot have frequent or even daily contact.

Research has shown that parent-child relationships are built on steady, reliable contact. The amount of time and the means of the contact are less significant than its regularity. What this means for you as the long-distance parent, is that the distance that separates you from your child does not prevent you from having a close relationship with your child.

Use daily emails to your child to ask about school or friends, and to let them know you are thinking about them and care about their daily happenings. Emails transcend time zone differences and allow for two people on two opposing schedules to communicate on their own time. With phone data plans, you can even email or instant message from your cell phone.

Phone calls always give the added comfort of hearing the voice of a loved one, especially for children who are too young for email. Focus the conversation around your child and what is happening in his world. The goal is to remind your child you love and care about him and what he is doing. If your child is old enough for a cell phone with or without a data plan, you can learn to text message, keeping contact between phone calls.  A brief “I love you” or “Good luck on your test”  will send a clear message you are thinking about your child and are aware of what is happening in his day, no matter how far apart you may be.

Many parent-time services and military families are employing the use of Skype to give parents and children face-to-face interaction. Skype allows you to use webcams and your computer’s microphone to video chat with your child. Rather than being surprised by how much your child has changed when they arrive at the airport for his summer parent-time, you can set up weekly Skype calls and watch him grow. If your child does not have access to Skype technology at home, you might consider using a visitation or parent-time service that offers Skype visits in your child’s area.

Technology such as email, Skype and cell phones can lessen the pain of living long distances from your child. While it is impossible to reach through your webcam to hug your child, you can certainly remain a regular part of his life and build a close relationship no matter how many miles physically separate you.