Unique Challenges in Infant Parenting Plans

The heightened care infants require presents unique challenges when creating a parenting plan for an infant. You must consider several factors about how the infant is cared for, in addition to the location where the infant is to be cared for and the infant’s caregiver designated in the plan. Circumstances such as breastfeeding the infant can present unique challenges, if the child is to be separated from the mother.

When the mother is the primary source of the infant’s nourishment, the child cannot be apart from the mother for more than a couple of hours. While breastfeeding does not continue indefinitely, during its duration both parents need to acknowledge the frequency of the infant’s eating schedule. If the infant is willing or accustomed to accepting breast milk or formula in a bottle, the father can feed the child outside of the mother’s presence.

Infants eat on a regular schedule, whether regimented by parents or caregivers, or if they feed on demand. Both parents, as well as any other caregivers, should follow the same feeding schedule and agree on if the child is to be fed at set times or on demand. 

When determining a schedule for an infant, nap times are also frequent in infancy and must be accounted for. If pick up or drop-off times interfere with the infant’s sleep, the child can become cranky and harder to manage. As a result, sleep schedules should be agreed upon by all invovled parties. When both parents agree and an infant is not dependent on breastfeeding, overnight visits might be considered. Parents must maintain similar bedtime routines at both homes, since infants are comforted by predictability. A well thought-out, mutually respected parenting plan can ease any anxiety an infant can feel about the co-parenting, dual-home arrangement.

Often, parents fear that by sharing custody, or by agreeing to parent time with a non-custodial parent, they will miss out on the important milestones of the child’s development. Parenting plans exist for the needs of the child, and might include provisions to help both parents communicate the accomplishments of the child when in the presence of the other parent. With modern technology such as smart phones, you may consider options such as recording a quick video of your child taking her first steps and instant messaging it to the other parent. In highly volatile situations, even a mutually agreed-upon third party can relay the accomplishments of the child at pick-up time.

You can avoid many conflicts by keeping the other parent informed of the needs and accomplishments of the infant, and by striving to function first as a parent meeting your infant’s needs. Keep in mind that the bond between parent and child begins during infancy. Research has not been able to quantify an amount of time needed for children to bond to a parent, but regular contact has proven significant. It is vital that both parents prepare early for their co-parenting journey, allowing for their infant to bond and build a relationship with both parents.