Making mediation safe in cases of domestic violence

The nature of violent relationships, or those that have experienced an episode of domestic violence, is one of high conflict. When there are high levels of conflict it is no surprise that divorces and custody battles are often contested, leading to court ordered mediation.

Can parties that have experienced domestic violence mediate?

With the help of a well-trained mediator, both victims and perpetrators can safely mediate the issues involved in a divorce or custody dispute. Many mediators specializing in divorce and family law have received specialized training in customizing mediation to meet the unique needs of all parties involved in domestic violence. You should inquire as to the credentials of your mediator if this is of concern to you. Mediators have a code of ethics which includes client confidentiality. This means if you disclose to the mediator you have been the victim of domestic violence and would like your mediation customized to offer you heightened safety, your mediator can accommodate that request, without having to inform the other parties involved without your consent. State law does require however that mediators break confidentiality if child or elder abuse is reported to them, if it has not previously been brought to the attention of the authorities.  

Heightened Safety During Mediation

A variety of options exist for mediation between parties in high conflict (i.e. victims and perpetrators of domestic violence). 

Shuttle Mediations

Parties can attend the mediation at the same time and in the same general location with the mediator “shuttling” between two conference rooms to convey the offers and concerns of both parties, until an agreement is reached or the mediation is suspended. During a shuttle mediation, parties need not see one another and the mediator can arrange for one party to arrive prior to the other and depart after the party has left the premises. For example, John and Jane are to mediate their divorce. The mediator has John arrive at 11:45am and shows him to conference room A. Jane arrives at 12:00pm and the mediator shows her to conference room B. The mediator shuttles between the two parties and two rooms. John and Jane never see one another. Jane leaves at 3:15pm (at the direction of the mediator) and John leaves at 3:30pm. Jane arrives after John and leaves before him, so he never sees her or has an opportunity to approach her outside the mediation.

Telephone Mediation

Telephone mediations can involve either a conference call initiated by the mediator, or they can be similar to a shuttle mediation with the mediator conducting all mediation by telephone, and then conveying the information to the other party. One party may participate by telephone while one party is in the office of the mediator, if distance is the primary reason for choosing telephone mediation. 

Email/Skype

The principles of telephone mediation may be employed to conduct mediations via email or Skype as well.

For details on how your mediator conducts long distance or out-of-office mediations speak with her directly. It is the preference of Utah Family Mediator, Rebecca H. Symes to conduct mediations via telephone shuttle/conference depending on the needs and preferences of the parties when in-office mediation is not an appropriate option, whether for distance or for other reasons.

Security

Whether you choose to mediate in the same room or via email, the safety of all parties should be of the highest concern to your mediator. Often, face-to-face or shuttle mediations with Utah Family Mediator, Rebecca H. Symes take place at the county courthouse in your area rather than in a private office. Mediation is not an appropriate time or location to bring a weapon. The courthouse offers the benefit of screening equipment upon entrance, which deters either party from carrying a weapon into a mediation.  Mediation is a safe environment where parties come to work toward common goals. For high-conflict couples, working with a well-trained mediator helps reach a balance of power and an agreeable outcome on many issues of contention.

Rebecca H. Symes, Utah Family Mediator, has served on domestic violence coalitions across the state of Utah working with shelters across rural and metropolitan Utah. She has previously worked with Utah Legal Services on the LAVA (legal assistance for victims of abuse) project. A great deal of Rebecca's research during her years at the University of Utah focused on domestic violence.
To schedule a mediation with Rebecca, call (801) 899-6338.